Chihuahua Inertia

I take 2-3 dog walks per day, not because I’m walking my three dogs multiple times but because I cannot consistently walk any of them at the same time, I’ve tried. The three-body problem continues to vex me. I think it was a given that I wouldn’t be able to walk the Goat (a.k.a BG) and the Grump (a.k.a Cheech) together. The two of them mark everything including every spot the other one marks. It would take me an hour to walk a couple of blocks. The Giselle (a.k.a LC) is much easier to walk in that regard. She keeps her head up, rarely stops to do her business, and has no interest in marking a territory, but she is also very skittish. For a short two weeks walking the Giselle with the Goat or the Grump was working, allowing me to take just two walks a day. But recently, whenever the Giselle sees me gearing up for the walks, she hides in a small crate I keep in the corner of the living room.

The Goat and the Grump gladly go on their separate walks. But in order to walk the Giselle, I have to sneak up on her to catch her before she enters the crate. I’m successful only once or twice per week and on those successful days I take 3 dog walks. Half of my neighbors likely think I’m a professional dog walker, or at least a dog walker getting paid. I think if they see me with the Grump, they must question my professionalism because they have undoubtedly witnessed my incompetence at managing Chihuahua inertia.

The Grump is a 10-pound Chihuahua mix. He determines the length, speed and direction of his walks by deploying Chihuahua-inertia. His walks vary from one block to 2.1 miles. His inertia superpower also determines whether or not he walks the entire distance or if he walks partway and I carry him the rest of the way.

When time is tight, only the Goat gets walked. I might need to hire a professional dog walker.

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